holidays without Poppy

I miss my grandfather so much sometimes that I can hardly breathe...I think about him every single day. He made such a huge impact on my life. I don't know how our family can deal with these first Holidays without him...on my birthday this year my grandmother and I bawled all day long in between all the happy moments we had together that day...4 generations of our families women out shopping...they used to sing to me on my answering machine every year. I'd come home from work, and my sweet grandparents would be serenading me with "Happy Birthday"...this year, I had nothing...because not only was Poppy gone, but it would have been unbearable for Grammy to do it all be herself, for me and for her...it made me ache for him...and I wondered if the rest of my family missed it this year, my cousins and aunts and uncles, did they linger over their machine wondering if they were going to hear one sad old lady crying and singing by herself or did they not even notice that there was nothing... how could they not miss it? it was one of the highlights of every birthday that they tried to make so very precious to me...I miss you Poppy...with all my heart...but we are doing our very best to take care of Grammy like we promised you...I love you.